The Native Blog

A Potawatomi Indian Marriage

This is what an Potawatomi Indian marriage is really all about:

An old Potawatomi Indian man ordered one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink at the Buffalo Grill. Then he unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife. He then carefully counted out the French fries, dividing them into two piles, and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink. His wife took a sip and then set the cup down between them. As he began to eat his few bites of hamburger, the people around them kept looking over and whispering. You could tell they were thinking, "That poor old Indian couple. All they can afford is one meal for the two of them."

As the man began to eat his fries, a young man, with his percap burning a hole in his pocket, came to the table. He politely offered to buy another meal for the old couple. The old Indian man said they were just fine--they were used to sharing everything.

Other people noticed the little old Potawatomi lady hadn't eaten a bite. She sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally taking turns sipping the drink.

Again the young man came over and begged them to let him buy another meal for them. This time the old Potawatomi woman said, "No, thank you, we are used to sharing everything."

As the old Potawatomi man finished and was wiping his face neatly with the napkin, the young man again came over to the little old Indian lady who had yet to eat a single bite of food. He asked, "What is it you are waiting for?"

She answered:

"THE TEETH."

Without Reservations: Rez Humor...

"The Whatcha macallit Tribe is located in a desolate portion of Americas heart land that is best known for tornados and fantasy land called Oz.

One day some of the elders had a vision of a money making enterprise that would bring the people of the whatcha macallit Tribe out of the clutches of poverty and despair,a vision that one day all the members would recieve health care equivilent to that which is given to the rich,that one day all members would live in nice affordable housing,that one day the leader ship would become caring and thoughtful and put the people and the needs of the people first.

The Elders thought and pondered for days at a time about what could we do,,One nite they were playing a card game playing for nickels and dimes,,,, then one of the elders jumped up and told the rest of the elders about a place he once visited called Las Vegas and how many rich people came and gambled and left much money for the residents of this place called Las Vegas.

The rest of the Elders asked him why he had not told them of this before , to which he replied," I did not want to get in trouble".So they questioned him as to why he thought he would get in trouble.

He explained that all over this place called Las Vegas there were signs that said "what happens in Las Vegas ,Stays in Las Vegas" and he did not want to get in trouble for bringing that home with him, but since his people needed some thing to improve thier lives he would throw caution to the winds and tell the way in which they made money and help bring that to the reservation and if he got in trouble for not leaving the idea in las Vegas he would be willing to accept his punishment but he would do it to help his people.

Theyounger people of the tribe went to las vegas and spent many days learning of this thing called casino and went to the B.I.A and made them help put one of those things called casino on the reservation.

In just a short time the thing called casino began to make money for the Whatcha macallit tribe and things started to improve, it wasn't long before outhouses became a thing of the past and the members had in door plumbing.

They started to see things more clearly now because thier eyeballs were not jumping up and down from riding on bumpy and dusty roads....

They got so much money that they were able to pay whitemen in fancy suits to come out to the reservation and tell us how to get better. Some of the younger ones got into being leaders because they went to school and learned from the white man about we Indians were. They became leaders in the new era of In god We trust and Idolistic worship of that american Icon. "the doolar bill"

Soon the elders realized that maybe some of the stuff they brought back from this place called Las Vegas should have stayed in the place called Las Vegas.

The younger people educated in the white man style soon forgot the elders that got the thing called casino and began to hire thier relatives and give the best houses to thier cuz.

But they did build a House for the Elders and called it the Elder center.They fed the Elders one meal a day except on whiteman holidays and not on weekends.

They built nice houses for the Elders and did background checks on the elders to see if they had lived like good whitemen and charged them high rents. they felt that if you make the Elders pay high rent they will learn to take care of the house.

The thing called casino made lots of money and money draws "Carpet Baggers" like flies to meezee. And they started to arrive..Many said you poor Whatcha Macallits, you don't know whats good for you...

Lies started flying like snowflakes in a febuary snow storm and sure nuff,them carpet baggers got themselves put into council positions and payed them selves to much money and payed thier relatives allmost as much.

..they lived all thier life as a tribe of thier grandmothers or some where maybe thier auntie was a Indian Princess or some thing..Untill we got this thing called casino, these carpet baggers could not even spell Whatcha Macallit and many of them thought our Ancestorial home land was west chicago.

But any way the carpet baggers have a A.K.C {cdib} that says they are really whatcha macallit and they come to lead us, When they first meet with the Elders. one of the Elders asked them questions about the Whatcha macallit customs and traditions,,,,The carpet baggers say I don't know but I hope you will teach me', but I do have card that says I am Whatcha macallit and I have a degree from a white man school that makes me smarter than you and I can tell you whats best for you,,,, The carpet bagger says I will chat with you old people once a month, but it will be just a chat. carpet baggers do not believe in Elders Council they say that went out with John wayne movies. we are modern Indians now.

any way the whatcha macallit tribe is fortunate to get a brother and sister or maybe brother and brother combo who come home to help us spend our money.......The whatcha macallit have learned that if you own some thing some one else can sell it back to you. for ten or twenty time what it is worth..... That is carpet bagger economic development....

We even learned how to hire a white man that the other whitemen don't want . We call him attorney.. the Indian word for this man that is not wanted by his own people is Shyster.

Many of the Elders have told the carpet bagger they dont like to be treated like this and this shyster man said he will sue us and take what little we have, he wants ten thousand dollars. maybe the Carpet baggers are not paying them selves enough

Now the whatcha macallits are fighting the other Indians and trying to stop them from making money. and they are calling us names. like tortois {shekah} and they say we are sour grapes

Pretty soon they will be calling us "big dumb Indian"

some one in history once said..."why you call me big dumb Indian, up there we are all alike"

maybe the elders should say" why you call me a tortois and sour grape ,up there we are all alike"

How do we go about applying for coverage under the 'Indian Civil Rights Act of 1968"

and can we please get subscription to coverage of First Amendment to United Staes Constitution.

This new style of Indian is mean and self serving they are without reservations on how they treat one another to get ahead.

Wake Up !!!!Wake up!!!!!

this is only a ficticious story any resemblence to any situation or person living or dead is merely a coincidence............

aren't you glad this is not reality???????????????"

Back to Back...Jack!

"On a recent BIA consultation junket flight, this plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lighting.

A female BIA person loses it. Screaming, she stands up at the front of the plane. I'm too young to die, she wails. Then she yells, Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN.

For a moment there is silence.

Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stared, riveted, at the desperate woman at the front of the plane.

Then a Prairie Band Tribal Council member stands up at the rear of the plane. He is tall, embarrassingly proportioned, long hair and light brown eyes and from Kansas. In one hand, he clutches his per cap check and the other hand holds onto the Shabbona secret gaming plans that's going to make him rich. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, with his other hand he starts unbuttoning his shirt. . . . . . . .

One button at a time . . . . . . . .

No one moves . . . . . . . . .

Hair ruffles across his chest . . . . . . .

She gasps . . . . . . . . .

He leans and whispers . . . . . . . . .

Iron this shirt, and get me something to eat . . . . . . . ."

         

Story of the Day

"Three Women in Mexico ...

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college
graduation, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are
to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what
they did the night before.

The first one, a Lakota woman, is strapped in the electric chair and
is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from
Oglala Lakota College and believe in the almighty power of Wakan Tanka
to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch
and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their
knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her.

The second one, a Cherokee woman, is strapped in and gives her last
words. "I just graduated from the Haskell Indian Nations University
and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the
innocent." They throw the switch and
again, nothing happens. Again
they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and
release her.

The last one, a Potawatomi, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from Potawatomi
College and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering,
and I'll tell you right now, you ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you
don't plug this thing in."